Label

Urutkan artikel berdasarkan:	POSTING TERBARU POSTING DIPERBAHARUI
Filter artikel berdasarkan kategori:	MEMUAT...
Cari dengan kata kunci:

Aborsi Bagi Perempuan Positif HIV/AIDS Kehamilan 120 Hari Prespektif Hukum Islam

Fiqih sebagai sebuah ilmu yang berisi seperangkat hukum-hukum Islam yang bersifat praktis (amaliyah) harus mampu menjembatani antara hakikat hukum yang dikehendaki Tuhan (Syar’i) dengan realitas kehidupan yang dialami manusia sebagai pelaksana hukum. Seluruh tindakan manusia baik berupa transaksi antar sesama manusia (mu’amalah) maupun yang bersifat transendental hanya berhubungan dengan Tuhan (Ibadah) di dalam  syari’ah Islam telah diatur hukum-hukumnya. Ketentuaan tersebut secara umum (universal) telah diatur didalam nash (al-Qur’an) dan sunnah Nabi Muhammad SAW dan penjelas dengan penafsiran-penafsiran yang dilakukan oleh para ulama terdahulu.

 Aborsi Bagi Perempuan Positif HIV/AIDS

           

Perubahan-perubahan sosial yang berlangsung dan berkembang dalam kehidupan masyarakat menunutut adanya upaya-upaya dalam penggunaan daya fakir yang optimal dalam menggali suatu hukum Islam yang baru dan sumbernya, al-Qur’an dan as-Sunnah, untuk mendapatkan jawaban terhadap suatu permasalahan hukum yang muncul di masyarakat.[1]

Ketika suatu hukum dianggap pada perubahan masyarakat yang dinamis, maka suatu keharusan bagi hukum untuk mampu melakukan adaptasi terhadap perubahan tersebut, yang terpenting adalah bagaimana sebuah hukum mampu menjawab permasalahan yang timbul didalam masyarakat yang senantiasa berubah dan tidak pernah statis ini.

Apabila hukum tidak mampu beradaptasi, maka yang terjadi adalah kesenjangan antara hukum dan masyarakat,[2] maka ijtihad merupakan salah satu mekanisme hukum Islam untuk melakukan adaptasi terhadap perubahan-perubahan untuk menjamin eksitensi ditengah-tengah masyarakat.[3]

Ijtihad merupakan sebuah proses perkembangan yang terus menerus, sedangkan wahyu dan ke-Nabi-an berhenti setelah wafatnya Nabi Muhammad SAW. Selanjutnya ijtihad menjadi main instrumen untuk menginterprestasikan wahyu dan mengkoresikan dengan perubahan kondisi umat Islam sekaligus memelihara ke harmonisan antara wahyu dan akal.[4] Pada akhirnya tujuan final dari ijtihad itu sendiri adalah mewujutkan kemaslahatan baik dunia maupun akhirat, menolak kemafsadatan serta mewujudkan keadilan yang mutlak.

Dalam menentukan hukum aborsi bagi perempuan positif HIV/AIDS setelah kehamilan 120 hari dapat diketahui dengan cara mengqiyaskannya. Sebelum mengqiaskan suatu hukum yaitu dengan menganalisis rukun qiyas terlebih dahulu agar suatu hukum dapat diketahui. Dalam menimbang-nimbang rukun qiyas tersebut yaitu dengan syarat-syarat yang telah ditentukan oleh para ulama’ diantaranya:

1). Al-Ashal yaitu bersumber berupa nas yang menjelaskan tentang hukum atau wilayah tempat sumber hukum. Dalam mengqiyaskan masalah penyakit HIV AIDS adalah dengan tujuan macam penyakit dalam hukum Islam, tiga diantaranya terdapat pada laki-laki dan perempuan yaitu sakit jiwa, baras, penyakit kulit, judzam (lepra) dan empat cacat yang lain masing-masing cacat hanya pada laki-laki yaitu unnah, majbub dan dua cacat lain hanya terdapat pada perempuan yaitu qarn dan ratq.[5] Al-Aslnya adalah hadis Nabi yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu hambal dari Zaid Ibnu Ka’ab yang merupakan sahabat Nabi SAW:

ان رسول صلى الله عليه وسلم تزوجامراة من بني عفارفلما دخل عليها ووضع توبة وقعدعلي الفراش ابصربكشحها بيا فا نخازعنالفراش ثم قال خذي عليك ثيا بك ولم يا خدممااتتاهاشيئا. [6]

2). Al- Far’u yaitu sesuatu yang tidak ada ketentuan nasnya, dalam hal ini dalah penyakit HIV/AIDS, kalau melihat syarat dari al-Far’u dalam kerangka teoritik maka jelas bahwa penyakit HIV/AIDS dapat dikategorikan menjadi al-Far’u karena penyakit HIV/AIDS yang diderita oleh seseorang dapat menggangu tubuh dan dapat membahayakan jiwa orang lain, sehingga ain illat dan ain hukumnya sama, belum ada aturan secara jelas dan tidak menyalahi dalil qat’i, kalau di runtun satu persatu dari syarat-syarat furu’ tersebut maka penyakit HIV/AIDS sudah dapat masuk sebagai furu’.

3). Al-Illat yaitu sifat atau alasan serupa yang menggubungkan asal dan cabang, disini illatnya adalah menjadikan seseorang menghindar adanya bahaya terhadap jiwanya seseorang tersebut yang sedang mengidap penyakit HIV/AIDS.

4). Al-Hukm yaitu hukum, yang dipergunakan qiyas untuk memperluas hukum dari al-Ashal ke a-l-Far’u (cabang), jadi segala ketentuan hukum yang berlaku pada seseorang yang dirinya terdapat tujuh cacat tersebut juga berlaku bagi penderita penyakit HIV/AIDS.

Dari rukun-rukun qiyas telah dapat dianalisis menurut penyusun adalah sebagai berikut:

1.      HIV/AIDS merupakan salah satu penyakit yang membahayakan bagi jiwa seseorang dan orang lain, seperti halnya penyakit yang telah ditentukan oleh hukum Islam, maka HIV/AIDS harus dihindari. dan dijauhkan dari kehidupan

2.      Jika diketahui seorang perempuan yang sedang hamil, setelah kehamilan 120 hari dan terjangkit penyakit HIV/.AIDS yang membahayakan bagi jiwanya sendiri dan bayi yang dikandung, sebelumnya belum diketahui ia menderita penyakit tersebut, agar tidak menimbulkan masalah yang lebih serius, maka aborsi bagi perempuan positif HIV AIDS setelah kehamilan 120 hari boleh dilakukan demi menyelamatkan jiwa seseorang dan banyak orang (udzur).   

Selain qiyas diatas para ulama pun mendapatkan kemaslahatan, karena dasarnya semua dengan ketentuan Syara’, dalam menentukan hukum-hukumnya yang bertujuan mencari kemaslahatan manusia seluruhnya di dunia  maupun di akhirat.

ومنهم من يققولربنااتنافيا الدنيا حسناوفىالاخرةحسنةوقناعذاباالنار[7]

Allah memuji orang yang berdoa untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan di dunia dan akhirat, bermaksud atau berfaidah agar dijadikan contoh tauladan  bagi kaum muslimin.

Dalam usaha mencapai tujuan pembentukan hukum Islam yaitu merealisir kemaslahatan bagi manusia, maka syara’ menjamin atau memelihara kebutuhan pokok manusia (daruriyah) memenuhi kebutuhan skunder (hajiyah) dan kebutuhan pelengkap (tahsiniyah).

Adapun yang dimaksud dengan tujuan primer (daruriyah) ialah segala sesuatu yang keberadaannya niscaya agar ditegakkannya kemaslahatan bagi manusia didunia dan di akhirat. Dalam arti jika daruriyah ini tidak terwujud akan menghancurkan kehidupan manusia di dunia dan di akhirat nanti.[8] Tujuan pokok (primer) tersebut bertitik tolak kepada lima perkara yaitu, agama, jiwa, keturunan, akal, dan harta. Begitulah tertib susunan dari keseluruhan primer.[9]

Kebutuhan utama yang harus dipenuhi tersebut telah disepakati berbagai pihak bukan hanya oleh para ulama Islam melainkan oleh seluruh agamawan.[10]

Tujuan skunder (hajiyah) mempunyai pengertian yaitu sesuatu yang dibutuhkan oleh manusia agar dapat menghilangkan kesempitan dan meringankan beban yang menyulitkan, memudahkan jalan bagi mereka, seperti adanya ketentuan rukhsah dalam bidang ibadah dan jual beli dalam bidang muamalah dan lainnya.[11] Maksud dari kebutuhan pelengkap (fahsiniyah) adalah sesuatu yang dapat memperoleh atau memperindah segala keberadaan manusia sepanjang batas-batas norma dan ahlak mulia.

Dengan mengetahui perbedaan pemenuhan kebutuhan antara daruriyah, hajiyah, tahsiniyah dalam rangka mencapai kemaslahatan manusia, maka dapat diprediksikan secara professional bahwa pemeliharaan dan pemenuhan kebutuhan daruriyah harus didahulukan dari pada kebutuhan hajiyah dan tahsiniyah. Karena tanpa pemenuhan kebutuhan yang sesungguhnya (daruriyah), maka kebutuhan berikutnya tidak dapat dijalankan. Setelah kebutuhan daruriyah terpenuhi baru memelihara kebutuhan hajiyah agar bisa menghindari dari kesempitan dan kesulitan. Setelah tepenuhi, tahsiniyah bisa terpenuhi untuk memperindah dan memperelok kehidupan manusia. Demikianlah tertib susunan kebutuhan manusia dalam merialisikan tujuan  hukum syara’ dalam mencapai kemaslahatan manusia.

Dengan demikian jika ada pertentangan antara komponen daruriyah yang satu dengan yang lainnya maka harus diambil yang terpenting.

Dalam konteks menetapkan kepastian hukum mengenai angka kematian ibu akibat aborsi tak aman merupakan dua kondisi yang sama-sama membahayakan, dapat dianalisis dengan menggunakan kaidah fiqih, antara lain: pertama, “Bahaya itu menurut agama harus dihilangkan (al-dlara yuzaalu sya’an)”, kedua, “Bahaya yang lebih berat dapat dihilangkan dengan memilih bahaya yang lebih ringan (al-dharar al-asyadd yuzaalu bi al-dharar al-akhaff)” atau “Jika dihadapkan pada dua kondisi yang sama-sama membahayakan, maka pilihlah bahaya yang resikonya lebih kecil (Idza ta’aaradlat al-mafsadataani ruu’iya a’dhamuhuma dlarara)”, ketiga, “Keterpaksaan dapat membolehkan untuk hal-hal yang dilarang (al-dlaruratu tubihul mahdzuraat)”, keempat, “Fatwa itu dapat berubah tergantung pada perubahan situasi dan keadaan, tempat, motivasi dan tradisi yang berlaku (taghayyur al-fatwa wa ikhtilafuha yuhsabu taghayyur al-azminah wa al-amkinah, wa al-niyyat wa al-‘awaaid)”.[12] Dan banyak lagi kaidah-kaidah yang lain dalam menetapkan suatu kepastian hukum.

Dengan mengetahui tujuan dan dasar-dasar pembentukan hukum syara’, kita dapat menetapkan hukum suatu perkara yang tidak ada nasnya secara langsung dan hanya mengunakan qiyas. 

Pengguguran kandungan (aborsi) sesudah nafkhu ar-ruh (ditiupkannya nyawa pada janin sesudah usia 120 hari atau empat bulan kehamilan), baik dilakukan dengan cara penyedotan dan pengurasan kandungan (menstrual regulation) dengan memasukkan alat penyedaot pengurasan dan pembersihan (vaccum aspirator) kedalam rahim wanita maupun dengan cara lainnya hukumnya adalah haram, kecuali jika menurut dokter yang amanah bahwa hal itu merupakan satu-satunya jalan untuk mnyelamatkan jiwa ibu yang mengandung. Sebagai mana dalam firman Allah SWT :

ولاتقتلواالنفس التي حرم الله الابالحق[13]

Para ulama berpendapat bahwa hukum pengguguran kandungan (aborsi) setelah nafkhu ar-ruh (setelah kehamilan 120 hari atau empat bulan) sebagai berikut:

a.       Prof. Drs. H. Masjfuk Zuhdi berkata, “ Aborsi yang benar-benar atas indikasi medis dapat dibenarkan, seperti janin cacat genetik yang kalau lahir kelak sulit disembuhkan. Dan apabila tanpa indikasi medis, maka aborsi merupakan perbuatan yang tidak manusiawi, bertentangan dengan moral agama dan mempunyai dampak negatif berupa dekadesi moral terutama dikalangan remaja dan pemuda, sebab legalitas abortus dapat mendorong keberanian orang untuk melakukan hubungan seksual sebelum nikah (free seks atau kumpul kebo).[14]

b.      Al-Suyuti berpendapat bahwa, sepanjang yang dapat ditelunsuri dari literatur fiqih aborsi, atau isqath al-hanl, dan ijhadh menurut bahasa fiqih, maka dapat dikemukakan sebuah kesepakat ulama, tanpa melihat usia kandungan, bahwa aborsi dapat dilakukan sepanjang pembiaraan janin didalam perut ibu sampai kelahirannya dipastikan akan membahayakan dan mengancam hidup ibu, kepastian ini didasarkan atas pertimbangan medis oleh dokter ahli. Pandangan ini memperlihatkan bahwa pertimbangan keselamatan ibu lebih diutamakan ketimbang kematian janin. Dalam pandangan fiqih, kematian janin memiliki resiko lebih ringan dibanding resiko kematian ibu, karena ibu adalah asal dari janin atau bayi. Eksetensinya telah nyata. Ibu juga memiki sejumlah kewajiban. Sementara janin atau bayi dalam kandungan, meskipun mungkin telah eksis, tetapi ia tidak mewakili kewajiban terhadap orang lain; “Jika terjadi delema, maka korbankan yang paling ringan resikonya”.[15] 

c.   Komisi Fatwa Majelis Ulama Indonesia (MUI) Propinsi DKI Jakarta berpendapat bahwa pengguguran kandunga (aborsi) setelah terjadinya nafkhu ar-ruh (usia 120 hari atau empat bulan kehamilan) adalah haram, kecuali jika ada alasa medis atau alasan lain yang dibenarkan oleh agama Islam.

Para ulama juga berbeda pendapat tentang hukum menggugurkan kandungan (aborsi) sebelum terjaninya nafkhu ar-ruh (usia 120 hari atau empat bulan) sebagai berikut:

a.   Menurut ulama Zaidiyah, sebagaimana ulama madzhab Hanafi, Maliki, Syafi’i, dan Hambali, bahwa hukum menggugurkan kandungan (aborsi) sebelum terjadinya nafkhu ar-ruh adalah mubah (boleh) secara mutlak, baik ada alas an medis maupun tidak.

b.  Menurut sebagian ulama madzhab Hanafi dan Syafi’i, bahwa hukum menggugurkan kandungan (aborsi) sebelum terjadi nafkhu ar-ruh adalah mubah (boleh), jika ada alasan medis (‘udzur). Jika tidak ada alas an medis (‘udzur), maka hukumnya makruh.

c.   Menurut sebagian ulama madzhab Maliki, bahwa hokum menggugurkan kandungan (aborsi) sebelum terjadinya nafkhu ar-ruh adalah makruh secara mutlak baik ada alasan medis maupun tidak.

d.  Menurut pendapat yang mu’tamad dalam madzhab Maliki, bahwa hukum menggugurkan kandungan (aborsi) sebelum terjadinya nafkhu ar-ruh adalah haram.

e.   Ulama kontemporer seperti Muhammad Syalthut mengaharamkan aborsi sejak bertemunya sperma dan ovum. Alasannya sejak pertemuan itu sudah ada kehidupan, meskipun belum diberi nyawa. Pada kandungan yang sedang mengalami pertumbuhan dan persiapan untuk menjadi mahkluk baru, yang bernama manusia, yang harus dihormati dan dilindungi eksitensinys. Makin jahat dan makin besar dosanya apabila pengguguran dilakukan setelah janin bernyawa, apabila kalau baru lahir dari kandungan itu samapai di bunuh atau dibuang.[16]

f.   Yusuf al-Qardawi menyatakan bahwa pada dasarnya hukum aborsi adalah haram, meskipun keharamanya bertingkat-tingkat sesuai dengan perkembangan janin. Pada usia 40 hari pertama tingkat keharamannya paling ringan, bahkan kadang-kadang boleh digugurkan kecuali ada alasan yang lebih kuat, selagi menurut ukuran yang ditetapkan oleh para ahli fiqih. Keharaman itu bertambah kuat dan lipat ganda setelah kehamilan 120 hari yang dihadis diistilahkan telah memasuki tahap peniupan roh.[17]

g.  Menurut pendapat Imam al-Ghazali dari kalangan mazhab Syafi’I, bahwa jika nuthfah (sperma) telah bercampur (ikhtilath) dengan ovum dan siap menirima kehidupan (isti’dad li qabul al-hayah), maka merusaknya dipandang sebagai tindak pidana (jarimah); Dengan demikian hukumnya adalah haram. Sebagai mana disebutkan dalam kitab Ihya’Ulum ad-Din Juz II, halaman 51 sebagai berikut:

”azal (pencegahan kehamilan) adala berbeda dengan pengguguran kandungan atau pembunuhan bayi yang telah lahir. Karena hal itu (pengguguran kandungan atau pembunuhan bayi yang telah lahir) adalah suatu tindak pidana terhadap makhluk yang telah ada. Pengguguran kandungan (aborsi) sebagai suatu tindak pidana terdiri dari beberapa tingkatan. Tingkatan pertama (yang paling ringan tindak pidananya) adalah aborsi yang dilakukan ketika nutfah (seperma) telah bertemu dan bercampur dengan ovum dalam rahim wanita dan telah siap menerina kehidupan. Merusakkan wujud yang demikian adalah suatu kejahatan. Apabila nuthfah (sperma) telah tumbuh menjadi ‘alaqah (segumpal darah) dan mudlgoh (segumpal daging), maka aborsi terhadap janin tersebut lebih keji. Bila janin telah berbentuk bayi secara sempurna dan telah ditiuokan ruhnya, maka aborsi terhadap janin tersebut adalah lebih keji lagi. Puncak dari pada kekejian tersebut adalah apabila pembunuhan tersebut dilakukan terhadap bayi yang lahir dari ibunya dalam keadaan hidup”. [18]

Syari’at hanya membolehkan pengguguran kandungan (aborsi) bilamana para dokter menyatakan dengan kepastian yang beralasan bahwa berlanjutnya kehamilan akan membahayakan nyawa si ibu. Kebolehan ini didasarkan pada prinsip “mengambil yang lebih kecil buruknya dari dua keburukan yang dalam terminologi Islam dikenal dengan prisip al-ahamm wa al-muhimm (yang lebih penting dan yang penting)”. Nabi Muhammad berkata “apabila ada dua barang atau perkara terlarang datang sekaligus (pada seseorang), maka yang lebih kecil dikorbankan demi yang lebih besar”. Dalam kasus sekarang, orang dihadapkan pada dua hal yang terlarang. Menggugurkan anak yang belum lahir atau membiarkan seseorang wanita menderita yang mengakibatkan kematian.

Berdasarkan madaratnya yang ditimbulkan dari kehamilan akibat suatu penyakit mematikan diatas (HIV AIDS), maka aborsi dapat dibenarkan pada usia 120 hari dengan alasan:

1.      Karena darurat dalam menghindari korban atau menghindari beban moral. Alasannya darurat dibenarkan membolehkan suatu yang haram adalah:

a.       Al-Qur’an, surat al-Baqarah berbunyi, “Dan janganlah kamu menjatuhkan dirimu dalam kebinasaan”, dan surat an-Nisa (4) ayat 29 yang berbunyi, “Dan janganlah kamu bunuh dirimu sendiri”. Membiarkan praktek aborsi dilakukan orang-orang yang tidak ahlinya sama halnya dengan menjerumuskan orang pada kebinasaan.

b.      Kaidah usul yang mengatakan, “Kemadaratan itu harus dihapuskan”, atau kaidah yang mengatakan, “Apabila bersatunya dua perkara yang diharamkan tidak dibolehkan dalam diri seseorang yang terpaksa maka wajib didahulukan perkara yang lebih kecil mafsadatnya dan paling sedikit madaratnya karena melebihi dari apa yang diperlukan tersebut, tidak dibenarkan, menanggung malu bayi sang ibu, amak lahir cacat.

2.      Berdasarkan ilmu kedokteran, bayi yang cacat jika lihat dari:

1)  Ketentuan umum.

a.   Darurat adalah suatu keadaan dimana seseorang apabila tidak melakukan suatu tindakan yang diharamkan, maka ia akan mati.

b.  Hajat adalah suatu keadaan dimana seseorang apabila tidak melakukan sesuatau yang diharamkan maka ia akan mengalami kesulitan berat.

2)  Ketentuan hukum.

a.   Aborsi haram hukumnya sejak terjadinya implikasi blastosis pada dinding rahim pada ibu (nidasi).

b.  Aborsi diperbolehkan karena ada udzur, baik bersifat darurat maupun hajat.

Fatwa Majelis Ulama Indonesia (MUI) No. 4 Tahun tentang aborsi adalah sebagai berikut:

1. Keadaan darurat yang berkaitan dengan kehamilan yang membolehkan aborsi adalah sebagai berikut:

a.       Perempuan hamil diketahui menderita sakit fisik stadium lanjut, TBC dengan caverna dan penakit-penyakit fisik berat yang ditetapkan oleh Tim Dokter.

b.      Dalam keadaan darurat kehamilan yang mengancam nyawa sang ibu.

2. Keadaan hajat yang berkaitan dengan kehamilan yang dapat membolehkan aborsi adalah sebagai berikut:

a.       Janin yang dikandung dideteksi oleh Tim Dokter menderita cacat genetic yang kalau lahik kelak sulit disembuhkan.

b.      Kebolehan akibat pemerkosaan yang ditetapkan oleh Tim yang berwewenang yang didalamnya terdapat antara lain keluarga korban, dokter, polisi dan ulama.

c.       Kebolehan aborsi sebagaimana dimaksud pada huruf (b), harus dilakukan sebelum janin berusia 40 hari.

d.      Aborsi haram hukumnya dilakukan pada kehamilan yang terjadi akibat zina.[19]

Sepanjang yang dapat ditelusuri dari literatur fiqih aborsi, atau isqath al-haml, dan ijhadh menurut bahasa fiqih, maka dapat dikemukakan sebuah kesepakatan ulama, tanpa melihat usia kandungan, bahwa aborsi dapat dilakukan sepanjang pembiaraan janin di dalam perut ibu dipastikan akan membahayakan dan mengancam hidup ibu, dan kepastian ini atas pertimbangan medis oleh dokter ahli. Pandangan ini memperlihatkan bahwa pertimbangan keselamatan hidup ibu lebih diutamakan ketimbang kematian janin. Dalam pandangan fiqih, kematian janin memiliki resiko lebih ringan dibanding resiko kematian ibu, karena ibu adalah asal janin atau bayi.

Pandangan para ahli fiqih tentang motif aborsi diatas tampaknya masih terbatas pada indikasi media dan kesehatan belaka. Motif-motif lain seperti indikasi sosial, ekonomi, politik dan psikologis belum mendapatkan uraian panjang lebar. Tetapi sesungguhnya menarik ketika kita amati bahwa sebagian ulama Hanafi membolehkan aborsi, meskipun bukan karena suatu alas an (bi ‘udzraw bi ghair udzr).

Akhirnya, satu hal yang perlu digaris bawahi dalam hubungannya dengan relasi-relasi kemanusiaan, termasuk di dalamnya relasi berdasarkan gender ialah bahwa Islam merupakan agama keadilan, agama yang menolak segala bentuk diskriminasi dan bentuk kekerasan. Ia lahir untuk menegakkan prinsip-prinsip kemanusiaan yang luhur. Kepadanyalah seluruh kontruksi pemikiran, konsep dan aturan kehidupan seharusnya dirumuskan oleh kaum muslimin kemudian diamalkan atau diaplikasikan dalam kehidupan sosial mereka.

___________________________

Referensi

---

[1] Upaya yang dimaksud dikenal dengan ijtihad sebagai upaya optimal interprestasi rasional terhadap nas-nas (al-Qur’an dan as-Sunnah). Secara letiral ijtihad berasal dari kata” jahuda” yang berarti upaya, usaha (effort, endeavor). Dalam kajian ushul fiqh, ijtihad didefinisikan sebagai upaya untuk sampai kepada hukum syara’ dari dalil-dalil tafsili yang ada dalam hukum-hukum syar’i, maka ijtihad menjadi kebutuhan yang urgen dan abadi selama masih ada kejadian baru yang muncul. Kondisi masyarakat yang selalu berubah dan berkembang, dan selama syari’at Islam masih cocok disetiap zaman dan memiliki problematika realita dan kebutuhan yang senantiasa muncul. Lihat dari Yusuf al- Qurdawi, “Ijtihad Dalam Syari’at Islam”: Beberapa Analisis Tentang Ijtihad Kontemporer, Terjemahan, Ahmad Syatori, (Jakarta: PT. Bulan Bintang, 1987)., halm. 132.

[2] Sutjipto Raharjo, Ilmu Hukum , cet. ke-4, (Bandung: PT. Citra Aditya Bakti,1996), hlm. 191.

[3] T.M Hasbi As-Shiddqi, Falsafah Hukum Islam, cet. ke-1, (Jakarta: Bulan Bintang, 1975), hlm. 105.

[4] Muhammad Hasyim Kamali, Prinuples of Islamic Jurisprodence, (Selangor: Peladuk Plubucation (M) Sdn. Bhd. 1989), hlm. 463.

[5] Muwaffaq ad-Din Muhammad Abdillah bin Ahmad bin Qudamah, “ Al- Mugni wa Asy-Syarh al-Kabil, edisi. 1, (Bairut: Dar al-Fikr, 1404/1984). VII:580-581.

[6] Ahmad Ibn Hambal, Musnad al-Imam Ahmad Ibnu Hambal , (Beirut: Al-Maktabah al-Islami dan Dar as-Sadir, t.t.) III: 493 dari Zaid Ibn Ka’ab.

[7]  Al-Baqarah (2):20

[8] Ahmad Ibn Hambal, Musnad wa al- Imam Ahmad Ibnu Hambal, (Bairut: Al- Maktubah al-Islami dan Dar as-Sadir, t.t.), III: 493 dari Zaid Ibn Ka’ab.

[9] Abdul Wahab Khallaf, Ilmu Ushul Fikh, hlm. 152.

[10] Juhaya S. Praja, Filsafat Hukum Islam, cet. ke-1, (Bandung: Yayasan PIARA, 1993), hlm. 152.

[11] Imam Malik, “Al-Muwatta’ “, (Beirut: Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmiyah, t.t), II:563, diceritakan dari Malik setelah pada Sa’id Ibnu Musyyab. Hadis ini juga diriwayatkan oleh Said Ibnu Mansur dengan redaksi lain dan mempunyai rijal yang saqah. Lihat Ibnu Hajar al-Asqolani, “ Bulug al-Marom min Adillahi al-Ahkam ”, (Bandung: Al-Ma’arif, t.t.), hlm. 211-212.

[12] Syamsuddin Abi Abdillah Muhammad bin Abi Bakr. 1980, A’laam al-Muwaqqi’iin ‘an Rabb al-‘Aalamii, (Cairo: Maktabah Al-Kulliyaat Al-Azhar, jilid 1), hlm. 1.

[13] al-Isra’  17:33;

[14] “ Menaggapi Komisi Fatwa MUI Izinkan Aborsi Akibat Kasus Pemerkosaan”, Replubika, edisi 19 Mei 2005.

[15] Al-Suyuthi, Al Asybah wa al Nazhair, hlm.62.

[16] Muhammad Syalthut, al-Fatwa, (mesir: Dar al-Qalam, t.t), hlm. 290-291.

[17] Yusuf al-Qardawi, Fatwa-fatwa Kontemporer, alih bahasa Ahamad Yasin, (Jakarta: Gema Insani Press, 1996), hlm. 779.

[18] Muhammad bin Muhammad abu hamid al-Ghazali, Ihya’ ulum ad-Din, (Beirut: Dar al-fikr, tth), juz II, hlm. 51.

[19] Fatwa MUI No.4 Tahun 2005 tentang “ Aborsi” Jakarta 21 mei 2005, hlm. 7-8

____________________________________________________

Sumber: Skripsi Ali Syakirin,

ABORSI BAGI PEREMPUAN POSITIF HIV/AIDS SETELAH KEHAMILAN BERUSIA 120 HARI PERSPEKTIF HUKUM ISLAM, UNIVERSITAS ISLAM NEGERI SUNAN KAILJAGA YOGYAKARTA:2007

The Worst Way to Go

by Dan Morgan

There was this time in Houston once when I did something that's been hanging around in my mind over the years, tucked down inside of me like a lucky charm that I don't want to lose, and ever now and then I take it out and admire it a little when I need something to fall back on that makes me feel like I'm not so much a loser as I sure seem to be. I used to think about it from time to time, but in the past couple of years it's come back to me lots more since I don't seem to have too many things to be all that proud of these days.
     Back when I was working nights at the downtown bus station for a while sweeping floors and scrubbing out toilets and pinching gum off the bottom of seats and picking up other people's trash and having lunch at the counter where they had good meatloaf and a waitress named Holly that I tried to screw but never got to, one night when I just got off work something happened that I won't never forget.
     There was this old boy working there named Duval who had a fine Harley hog that was sure enough fast and loud and mean and chrome as a mirror and it was just about as big as he was. He worked at the bus station too only he had a good job as the night man loading up the buses, and me and him got to be friends, which was good for me cause I didn't usually have many of those. He used to tell me all about going off places with his biker friends and how him and his old lady would sometimes take off on a weekend and take blankets with them and ride off over in the Hill Country where they'd camp out by a river and smoke dope and screw a lot and just watch the sun coming up. He talked about things I knowed I'd never do and it was cool listening to him ramble on about days on that bike and how much he loved "Baby" as he called his Harley. He always told me how great it was when the sun was shining down and the road was long and smooth and the pavement rumbled up through your legs, and I could see how it was something that could take a hold of you. I sure wished lots of times that I had my own Harley that I could jump on when things got a bit too tight or there was too many people yelling at me or maybe just when the toilet was all backed up at the station and they sent me in to clean it all out and mop up the piss on the floors. I liked jobs where I just got to do easy things and didn't have to do a lot of thinking, but there was times when I realized I might be spending the rest of my life mopping up piss, and stories like what Duval told me just made me think more and more about what kind of life I could have if I could just get lucky. About the only way anything good was ever going to happen to me was if a bolt of lightning come down and a million dollars just dropped right in my hands so I could go off and do whatever I felt like and never have to mop up after nobody no more.

<  2  >

     But anyways, at the station, sometimes when a bus was running late, or when there was lots of people and lots of bags, they'd send me out to help Duval load and unload a bus or two that was coming in and going out. Now, Duval was a big old boy, with arms that looked like drill pipe out of an oil well, and he could have probably unloaded a bus by picking up it up on its side and just shaking all the bags out, but they sent me, a skinny little stick, out there to help him anyway. I remember it was one of them hot sticky summer Houston nights where by the time you finish working you've sweated up a good stink and the air is so still it doesn't move enough to even take your own smell away from you. While we was loading up a bus going west I looked at the tags and thought about where them bags and the people that owned them was going that night, and I asked Duval if he'd ever been out that way. "Me and Tami rode to Colorado a couple years ago and had a blast," he told me. "You should see the mountains, up high and cool, and you just feel like you're born all over again when you see them peaks." While we loaded a ton of bags that night, I wondered if someday I could go to a place like that and be born again, and I sure hoped I'd be born something better than the first time around.
     It was just about end of shift when that last 'Houndog bus we loaded up pulled out bound for some place I probly wouldn't ever go, leaving diesel exhaust fumes that smelled almost as bad as I did fogging up the air behind it, and me and Duval was done for the night.
     While we waited for straight-up midnight so's we could punch out, we stood off out in back of the station in the dark where nobody could see us and lit up the rest of a doobie that Duval had left over from when he started working that afternoon. There wasn't no wind that night, so the smoke from that doobie just hung right there in the air with us like a big summertime rain cloud. While we cooled down after that work, I felt another kind of high too from thinking for a while that I was important, cause after all, I had loaded up a bus that was headed off across the country where folks was going to work and live and love, and I was helping them get there. There ain't much better feeling than doing something good just once in a while and then sitting back with a jay to hold that good thought for a little while longer than it lasted. "You like doing this stuff, Duval?" I asked.

<  3  >

     "Yes, I do," he said with the kind of soft voice you don't often hear from a big man like him that told me he really did like the work, no matter how empty minded it might of been.
     "How'd you get to doing this?"
     "Just like you. I wasn't going nowhere and I didn't have nothing and I didn't know nothing, but I found something good and stuck with it."
     "This bus job was what you found good?" I asked him, and he said, "No, what I found good was Tami, and if I wanted her to stick with me, I had to do something for a living and this turned out to be it." He told me as how Tami had settled him down and got him off the streets and got him to working regular, and he wasn't going to go back to where he'd been. He said he'd started off pulling up gum just like I did but he'd worked himself up to loading buses and pretty soon he planned to be a driver if they'd let him but he was a little worried about the two DWI's he'd had and afraid they'd try to hold them against him. "Aw they wouldn't do that," I figured, and then said to him, "Just don't tell them about it. That was a long time ago anyways." But Duval sucked on the weed and shook his head. "No, man, it's on your driving record. You don't have to tell them about it, they find it anyway," and that was the first time I heard of that, that companies could find out about all kinds of stuff like that about you and your shade past. "Man," Duval said, "There's some things you do in your life you just can't ever get away from, you know?" and I sure enough look back now and understand what he meant alright. I had my share of things I hoped didn't never show up on my driving record.
     The buzz off that weed had got us good by then, so we sat there a few more minutes enjoying letting time crawl by, till I asked him if he wanted to maybe go off over to some places I knowed on the ship channel and see what kind of action was going on there but he said, "No, I better go, Larry. I got a good woman waiting for me and there ain't nothing over there I care to see no more."

<  4  >

     Right then and there come a second that I always think back on when I get to thinking about what happened to Duval. Maybe it was a flash of lightning come up, I don't know, cause back then I wasn't seeing things all that clear even if the lightning had of hit right in front of my face, but there was a second when I just wished for all the world that Duval would go with me but I couldn't explain why. "Come on, Duval," I told him. "Let's go have a beer, just one," but he said No, Tami's Expecting Me And She Can't Go To Sleep Till I Get Home and there was some kind of light around him alright or maybe it was just the smoke from the weed hanging around his face but there was something there that I didn't understand but figured it must have to do with Duval living the right kind of life now. Duval seemed to have had some pretty low days in his life and now here he was working nights at the bus station loading up other people's underwear but all the same just feeling good about his life with Tami and his Harley. I don't know nothing about how premonitions work, but looking back it seems like I just had this feeling something was going to happen to Duval but I didn't have no idea what. Well about five minutes later I found out what it was cause when I was back in the station I heard Duval crank up Baby loud enough to wake up Moses so I went outside to see him go by. I was buzzed pretty good by then and when I waved at him as he pulled out, he looked over at me with his long hair blowing back behind him and he grinned and held out his hand with a thumb up in the air and gunned that hog so's he split off down the street like a whore after a roughneck's paycheck. Just as I turned around to go back inside and probly try to get a look at Holly's butt, I heard a sound I won't never forget in my life. It was just a quick little squeal of a tire on pavement and then a ka-whomp, a deep sickly sound of metal meeting metal and flesh meeting windshield, and when I turned around I just got the last glimpse of a big Buick sliding around in a spin with a Harley pushed into its side like it was dancing a two-step down the street. What I most remember and still see sometimes when I think about that time was the look on Duval's face. It was probly a hunderd feet away down there where Dottie the ticket seller at the station had got off at midnight too and gone out the back alley to turn on Fannin but turned instead in front of Duval and his Harley and Tami too and they was one piece of metal sliding across the street. It was a hunderd feet away in the streetlights of that summer night if it was a foot, but I swear I could see Duval's eyes as he went over the top of that car, open so wide in surprise and sadness, surprised and struck by pain and a big Buick, and there was a hollowness in those eyes that said he knew everthing that was happening to him and what it meant to him in his last moment on earth, but he didn't know why and maybe it was one of his flashes of lightning too that everbody has once when the lights are about to go out.

<  5  >

     Well there they was, Harley and General Motors, dancing together right there on the street in some kind of shotgun matrimony, and when Duval landed on the pavement just beyond the unhappy couple, he skidded down the pavement and rolled a couple times till he stopped and just lay flat out on his back and didn't move no more. For a second I was totally dumbed out and couldn't make my feet move, but then somebody tore past me out of the station and went running towards them and I guess I woke up and went to running too. When I got there there was a sight I don't ever want to see again, and that sight was Duval laying on his back with his arms and chest and face all tore up and enough blood all over him that it looked like somebody'd poured a bucket of it out. And to top it all, there was more blood gushing up out of his leg like the water fountain at Hermann Park and running out into the street. Duval was just laying there with his eyes wide open and his mouth moving through what was left of his beard like he was trying to talk but there wasn't no sound. That other guy that had got there before me was standing there looking at that gusher like he was going to be sick and saying "God almighty" over and over again. Duval's life was draining out on the pavement while this dude just kept saying "God almighty" but couldn't move like he was froze into a Hermann Park statue himself. Well I looked down at Duval and seen his leg and the torn bluejeans and the blood pumping up in a red-purple gusher and I guess there was just something that took over and like lightning I knowed what to do. Somewhere's back in my school days I must of stayed awake in the first aid course at least one day, and though I couldn't of told you squat about bandages and burns and snake bites and heart attacks, somehow I remember what you was supposed to do for bleeding. I had this old rag in my pocket from wiping up spit off the floor but I don't guess there was much else to have grabbed, so I yanked it out of my pocket and put it right down on Duval's leg, right where the blood was coming out, up high on his thigh. Everthing was twisted up just a little bit from the dope in my head, and even while I was holding back Duval's life from draining out his leg, I thought it was a little funny cause I remember the way his pants was tore I could see his underwear and I remember thinking he wore purple shorts. I guess seeing them purple shorts and feeling the buzz I laughed a little to myself thinking about what kind of fun I was going to have ribbing him about them shorts but right then and there I just put my hands on Duval's leg and pushed down hard on that spot where the blood was pumping out and just like they told you in first aid course, it stopped the bleeding. Duval finally squeaked out at me one time, "Man that hurts", but I didn't want to look at his face and have to see him all tore up.

<  6  >

     Mister God Almighty next to me finally come to his senses and took off running back to the station yelling "I'm going for help" and what seemed like the longest time but in my weeded out head probly wasn't but about two minutes later there was a cop car come pulling up with its lights flashing and a cop hopping out to take charge of things the way cops do. Then maybe a few minutes after that an ambulance roared up and when one of the medical guys got a tourniquet on Duval, I let go and just sat back there on the street and tried to concentrate on catching up with the world. The ambulance guy told me, "Good work, Buddy. He's pretty bad but if he pulls through, it'll be because you stopped his bleeding." The last I saw Duval was when they was putting him in the ambulance and he was mumbling a lot of nonsense, but one time I heard him real clear say "Take care of my baby". When I looked at that twist of chrome I knowed there wasn't much anybody could do for Baby any more than they was going to do for Duval.
     So a few minutes later when Duval and the ambulance had blasted off down the street, the cop come up to me and said, "That was a good thing you done, buddy. Do you know who he was?" I did and I give him Duval's name and the fact that he worked at the bus station and we talked a few minutes more, and the thing I most remember right about then was how I was sure that the cop was on to me and knowed I was stoned and he was just jacking with me till he could catch me in a lie or something and have me busted. It's funny how when you're high that things like that runs through your mind, that they know, they all know, and you know they know, but I remember that all I could think of was trying to act cool so he couldn't prove I was loaded. Then somebody put a blanket around my shoulders, god knows why cause it wasn't cold, and then somehow all of a sudden I become the star attraction of the circus on Fannin Street. Somebody said, "You might of saved his life, buddy," but I couldn't think of nothing but trying to be cool so the cops couldn't bust me. "It was nothing," I said, "I'd of done it for anybody".

<  7  >

     Well after a while I realized there was getting to be a pretty good crowd of people around that place even at midnight cause there was everybody from the station and three four five police cars and people that just always seems to show up at places where somebody else's blood is spilled. Old Dottie was sitting in the front seat of her car with the door open and her fat black legs hanging out in the street with those shiny hose and Redwing shoes for standing up all night and she was crying and crying and crying but it didn't look to me like she was hurt none. Most of the people was standing around the other side of her car where the front wheel of Duval's baby was buried in the Buick and there was spokes and shreds of tire sticking out of the fender and the handlebars was squeezed together, standing up straight. And what most people was looking at was that one stick of chrome handle that right up on the top of was a wad of bloody pink meat that come out of Duval's leg I guess when he went over the top of them. Them two pieces of metal, the Harley and the Buick, was sure enough mashed together so much that I figured they probly should just take it down to the museum and stick it in there like some piece of modern art and I guess the wrecker driver was going to earn his pay that night figuring out how to move that mess.
     While I was sitting there looking at the wreck I heard somebody in the crowd saying "That's him. He's the one that got to him. Man, look at him!" and somebody else back there said "He looks like he's in shock himself," but then I had to stop myself from laughing cause what they didn't know was that the reason I was staring straight ahead so hard was because I was trying to get the buzz to go away and for everthing out in the street to stop spinning around.
     While I was concentrating on making a manhole cover in the street stop moving, this young dude comes up to me and he's got a pad and pen in his hand and says he's a reporter and wants to talk to me, so we sat there a few minutes and he wrote down the things I said while I tried to remember it the way it happened but that buzz still had me and I might of mixed up one or two things. I saw the paper the next day and they had my picture in it but I don't ever remember anybody taking it. It was right next to the story that said "Motorcycle-Car Accident Claims One" and then underneath that it said It was nothing. I would have done anything for my friend and I thought it was a pretty good picture of me though I don't think I ever read all the story to see what they said, just the first couple paragraphs where it said "the victim was futilely aided by bystanders" and I guess that's what I was to the world, just a futile bystander.

<  8  >

     But while I was sitting there, there was a couple more bikes come up with guys on them that jumped off when they saw the wreck and come over to see what was happening. Turns out they was friends of Duval's and was coming by to see him at quitting time but they was too late to be friends of Duval that night or ever again. Somebody told one of them what I'd done and this pony-tailed boar hog come over and sat by me too. "Hey man," he said to me and it seemed like I'd seem him somewhere before over on Industrial Avenue maybe but I wasn't sure. "Hey man, we 'preciate what you done for the Dog Man. They done called Tami so we're going down to the hospital to be with her. You want to go?"
     Well I figured anything was better than sitting there on the curb so I agreed and when I stood up, one of the cops come over and he said, "Mr. Tieray, I'm going down to the hospital to finish my report and I'll give you a ride if you like," and for a minute the cop and the biker was looking at each other like I was the last cigarette in the pack and they was about to pull blades to see who got me. In the end I said to Duval's friend, "I sure enough want to go down there with you fellows but you have to excuse me right now if I don't feel too much like getting on a bike. Got sort of a bad vision in my head you might say," and the dude understood and he and his buddy got on their choppers and took off.
     "I'm ready to go now if you are, Mr. Tieray," the cop said, real nice and polite to me, and when we started to walk to the car, the oddest thing happened. All the people that was out there and heard the story I guess, just started clapping their hands and for a second I didn't realize what they was doing, but then it hit me that they was clapping for me. I guess I looked a little pitiful right then with that blanket all around my shoulders and blood all over my hands and clothes and it seemed like all of a sudden I was the star attraction. The policeman opened the door for me real easy and gentle and helped me in the car then shut the door, pushing it closed like there was a baby sleeping or something while everbody was still clapping, and I guess I looked up and waved right then cause that's what the picture in the paper was the next day, of me sitting in the police car looking out at everbody only they had me down in the story as having been on the back of Duval's bike so I guess the story I give that reporter was a little more mixed up than I thought.

<  9  >

     Well I got down to the hospital and there was more cops down there than I'd seen at a barroom stabbing though I guess most of them was there for other dudes that'd been shot, stuck, run over, beat up, car wrecked or pistol whipped, but somehow I guess I found out where Duval was and where it was right then was in the emergency room and right outside there they sat me down in some chairs to wait. I looked around at everthing that was there that night and alls I could see was pain. There was women and kids crying and there was groups of people all hunched over in their chairs talking quiet and there was men standing by the water fountain where I could hear one of them saying to the others, "They say he probly won't make it so we ought to start thinking about plans," and another group out in the hall with women crying and an old man telling their group "He'll pull through, I know it, just trust god, I know it" and it near made me cry just listening to folks in pain crying about other folks in more pain. There was some black kid dozing in the chair next to me and when I sat down he woke up and looked at me and rubbed his eyes and said "They find that dude yet?" but I didn't have no idea what he was talking about and I said "Huh?" and he said "Did they find the mother that shot him?" and I said He Didn't Get Shot He Got Stuck on His Handlebars" and the black kid looked at me like I didn't have no ears and then he leaned over and went back to dozing.
     I guess I must of sat there about a half hour or so and the cop that brought me come over and said he was fixing to leave and did I need a ride anywheres. "Maybe back down to the station," I told him cause I didn't really know where else to go and I wasn't going to tell him where I really lived in case he figured out a way later on to bust me, and he said ok he'd be ready to go in a few minutes so I just kept sitting there. While I was waiting the door to the emergency room come open and them two biker friends of Duval's was coming out holding up a woman between them and she was crying so much I knew she had to be Tami. She wasn't no pretty woman and she was a little big in the thighs but she had long brown hair and her eyes was so red and so full of tears that she almost had a little girl look like she was crying cause her Daddy was going away. Well one of the dudes spotted me and pointed at me and they all three come over my way. I was still sitting there with that blanket and Duval's innards on me and they come right up to me, and when I stood up, Tami said, "Are you Duval's friend that tried to save him?" I looked into the saddest eyes I think I've ever seen and said I was, and she just come up and put her arms around me and hugged me for a couple of minutes. "I know you tried," she said, "and I know Duval would of been happy that one of his friends was there with him. I just want you to know how much I appreciate what you done." Well it hadn't quite sunk in on me just yet what had happened and I said "How's the Big Dog doing? They gonna let him keep them purple jockeys?" and she looked real funny and started crying again and turned away, and one of the dudes told me one more time that he appreciated what I'd done and they walked on away. I was still thinking of what I was going to say to Duval whenever they finally let me see him when the cop come up again and that's when I found out the sad truth of the end of Duval. "What's going on with Duval?" I asked. "When they gonna let me see him?"

<  10  >

     The cop looked sad and put his hand up on my shoulder like a big brother telling his little brother that the dog had run away again and said, "Your buddy didn't make it, Larry. Too busted up inside, I guess. I'm sorry you lost your friend. I seen enough spuds lose it on a motorcycle, and I know, that's a terrible way to go, maybe the worst. It's a tragedy alright, but it could of happened to you too. You remember that. You were a lot luckier than him."
     The cop give me a ride like he said he would and when I got back down to the station, I had to tell the whole damn graveyard shift about what happened cause all the swing shifters had done gone home and the gravers wanted to hear about it for themselves. As tired as I was, I stayed there all the way till morning telling anybody who asked about what had had happened to Duval, cause it sure made me the center of attention in that station that night to be telling everbody my story and having them feel sorry for poor old Larry. I must of told that story fifty times that night, and I guess maybe the story got a little bigger here and there, I admit, cause it seemed like there was memories coming back of things that I was pretty sure had happened or maybe would have happened if certain other things had happened and by a couple days later, people had heard that I'd jumped in and got his heart started up and had give him mouth to mouth waiting for the ambulance to arrive and I didn't see no point in telling them it wasn't entirely true if that's what they wanted to believe.
     Well now that's when the good things started to happen. They give me off the next couple days from the bus station on account of my trauma and they even said they'd pay me sick time for it so who was I to argue. I don't remember ever having been give time off that wasn't for something I done wrong and I got to thinking right then that this hero business sits pretty well. So then since I was feeling pretty good I went over to the ship channel to the Triple XXX Club to look at necked women and what do you know, I walked in and there was the two biker dude friends of the Big Dog and they spotted me right off and bought me a beer. That whole damn night I didn't buy one beer or even my own cheeseburger and fries. I was just about the hottest thing in that place I guess and it seemed like everbody in there knowed the Big Dog and I couldn't hardly believe how many friends he had that come up to me and thanked me and told me some funny story about him. I thought about how good it must have been to have that many friends wishing you weren't deceased, but since they were buying me beers, I kind of got to thinking they was all my friends too, and it sure made me feel better to be a part of that happy group. Of course, with all the beer they was buying me I guess my answers got a little confused again and somewheres along the way I got to be a close personal friend of the Big Dog and it come out about the things he said to me while he was laying there on the street dying, all about how he wanted me to make sure Tami was taken care of and stuff like that. But then I got to thinking that even if that wasn't exactly true, somehow I knowed that he might of asked me to take care of Tami if he'd been able to say anything more to me that night. When he said "Man that hurts" I was pretty sure he was talking about how it hurt to leave Tami behind, and it was pretty clear to me what "take care of my baby" meant, too. Later on, one of the dancers took a fancy to me and I even got a little that night but I wasn't quite sure who she was doing it to since it wasn't my name she kept using whenever she was hitting her stride.

<  11  >

     Looking back, that time was one of the times I felt most good about myself. I'd done something nobody else'd had the smarts to do that night with Duval, and even if I didn't save his life, all the folks around there knowed I tried and it felt good to remember riding in the front seat of that cop car instead of in the back, and having people clap their hands for what I done and having Tami and the bikers tell me over and over how much they appreciated me, and then all them folks at the station and at the Triple XXX patting me on the back and saying how wonderful I was. I don't think there'd ever been a time before or a time since that I had somebody do things for me cause of me, and it was a time I won't never forget.
     But these days, now that a couple more summers have come and gone since that night, and that job at the bus station is long gone too, I often think about Duval and what that night had meant to both of us, with both of losing something. It's funny now, but when I get to thinking in the dark, when the air is still and the smoke from my grass hangs around my head, I remember Duval's last minutes just as clear as if it was yesterday even if I was buzzed out of my gourd that night when everthing really happened. It had hit me hard when Duval died, but what I'd thought about a lot of times since then was that cop saying I was the lucky one. I wasn't so sure about that. Duval had his Baby and his people to cry for him when he died and most of all he had his Tami that he'd of done anything for in the world including mopping up piss if he had to, but if it had been me backflipping over Dottie's Buick, they'd of just scraped me up and hosed down the street, and nobody would've even knowed who I was. That's the part that hit me the hardest, that if it had been me, nobody would of come to cry for me.

<  12  >

     And when I think about it that way, I get pretty far down and blue. Not for Duval or Tami and all that they both lost, but for myself, just for me, cause ever time I think about when Duval died, what I remember most is how many friends he had that come to cry for him when he was gone. When my own time comes, and whether there's any motorcycles or Buicks or cops or bikers involved, or it's just me all alone in a cold room in the back of shed somewhere, there won't be no line of friends out the door like Duval had, and there won't be no Tami and there won't be nobody's tears dropping on the ground but mine. It'll just be me and whatever's waiting for me, and I figure that being alone when that dark comes down is just about the worst way to go of all. 

================================================

Source : http://www.short-stories.co.uk/